Members’ Wellbeing Conference at the University of Northampton, 2023
In June, 23 people came to the University of Northampton for our 7th annual conference, which was again kindly sponsored by ‘Always a Chance Foundation’. It was our first Conference since the pandemic struck, so it was nice to see familiar faces from returning families, and sadly a new family joined us for the weekend. To reacquaint ourselves, we enjoyed dinner at the on-site Waterside Bar and Restaurant. As the academic year had ended, we thought it would be a nice quiet venue, we were not prepared for the heavy metal band and fans that joined us. They were entertaining but we couldn’t hear ourselves think, let alone speak. More Importantly it was an icebreaker! On finishing our meal we decamped to the Sunley Hotel for a quieter end to the evening.
On Saturday we were hosted in the Leathersellers' Hide at the Learning Hub, an impressive facility on this relatively new campus. The morning started with an emotional ‘around the table introduction’ from all the families present. Each family was able to summarise and give an update on each of their tragic cases. We know from past experience that this can be emotionally overwhelming for members, time does not ease the grief or pain, but being able to speak openly about loved ones and challenges that are being faced with other members is welcome and cathartic. Our first presentation was provided by Mark Bradley (Trauma Consultant) who has supported families following tragedies both in the UK and abroad. Mark gave a valuable and knowledgeable insight into his experience particularly with grief trauma. He explained how grief trauma differs from ‘normal‘ grief. He explored the grief process and suggested coping techniques, importantly he gave reassurances that the journey will improve and that professional help is available.
The second presentation on the day was gven by Simon Hare, a BBC producer and filmmaker, based in Nottingham. He is an experienced producer and BBC reporter. He has made films working with retired detective Tony Blockley (now Professor of policing at Leeds Trinity University) about the suspicious deaths of two of our members, Denyse Sweeney (India) and Claire Martin (Italy). Simon has a wealth of knowledge and he discussed with members both the benefits and the pitfalls of media involvement in cases. It was evident there is not a rule book but Simon did point Murdered Abroad in the direction of his colleague Jo Healey who has written a book entitled Trauma Reporting: A Journalist's Guide to Covering Sensitive Stories to assist journalists. Murdered Abroad will invite Jo Healey to be a Guest Speaker at one of our future meetings.
The day was rounded off with an update from Eve, Bren and Brian (Trustees) who, as always, have been incredibly busy. One departure from their usual updates was that they highlighted the need for more volunteer involvement to assist with website maintenance, social media awareness, administrative duties, fundraising and campaigning.
A significant grant has been received from Janus Henderson Investors who annually give their employees the opportunity to enter a 'Charity Challenge'. The grant was made possible by one of our members, Andrew Bernard. Andrew submitted an application by producing a short film about the murder of his son in Guyana, South America, which can be viewed here [link]. The grant is ring fenced and is specifically for projects connected to providing 3 Projects, i.e. translation and interpretation services, legal representation, and hopefully a podcast series providing information about the problems bereaved families face following murder and manslaughter when the crime occurs abroad. We are currently working on all three projects.
Saturday evening was a more subdued evening with a buffet in the Sunley Hotel, which was generously funded by ‘Always a Chance Foundation’. It was a late evening for some and it gave families the opportunity to share their grief and create a bond. As we know peer support is a very powerful tool in our armoury, especially when members can talk in a relaxed environment.
On Sunday we were joined by Christine Brolan (Celebrant) for a morning of Reflection and Remembrance. Chrissie spoke of the privilege of accompanying families during moments of grief and the service provided support and comfort with perfectly chosen music and poetry. We were invited to blow bubbles with a wand, a very simple childlike act which allowed us to be present in the moment and focus on loved ones. With each deep breath, inevitably, tears rolled and smiles appeared bringing a serene calmness to the room. An emotional candle lighting session in memory of our loved ones followed, speaking the names of our loved one is a powerful act of remembrance. Eve kindly lit a candle for those who could not attend, nobody was forgotten. Within the campus there is a Remembrance Garden, which acknowledges notable colleagues of the University who have died. We endured the blazing June sunshine and walked to the garden and as an act of dedication we wrote messages on paper leaves provided by Hazel from ‘Always a Chance Foundation’’ and tied them with yellow ribbons to a tree of remembrance. Spending time in nature is a great tonic for a troubled heart, so the beautiful trees in this tranquil garden brought great comfort to members.
We returned to the Leathersellers’ Hide for a farewell cuppa. In addition to funding the hotel stays and the catering over the two days, Hazel from Always a Chance had great pleasure in filling two baskets with various items for people to take away with them that would hopefully promote feelings of hope and Wellbeing. This was in part funded by a very kind donation from a local nursery school and by Hazel and friends. Big thanks must also go to Sam and Meurig Edwards from ‘Pebbles and More’ who very kindly made and donated a number of paper angels for families to take away as keepsakes.
Overall, the weekend was relaxing, reflective and well received by attendees.
Huge thanks go to Hazel and Pete Kouzaris for helping Murdered Abroad liaise with University staff, Tracey Brockton, Events Manager, and Jason who helped us with IT.
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